Rise of the fake nipples

The global economy is in a tailspin, the HIV  death toll continues to rise, the UK goverment begins to  morph into Big Brother. There is now a new phenomenon on the horizon more devastating and far-reaching than any of the above. Yes, we are talking about artificial nipples!

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How much is Radiohead’s new album worth?

And you thought ‘Kid A’ was weird. After turning everyone’s expectations inside-out, Radiohead has slowly but surely pushed the boundaries of what a world famous band can and cannot do. Each time a new album is announced everyone held their breathe in unison, hoping for the guitar power chord to make an appearance only to be greeted by some squiggly synth passages and electronic blips.

Upping the ante, Thom Yorke and company have opted to let fans decide on the price of their new album due out on the 10th of October. Yes thats right. You decide what you pay. They have turned capitalism on its head and all Thom Yorke can think to do is ride his bicycle round and round. What a dude!

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Update – for an insightful look at the demise of the album format look here. More details regarding ‘In Rainbows’.

Heroes – Season 2 premiere

 

Spoiler alert : do not read if you have not watched the episode yet. No whining will be entertained!This is written for those who are in a rush and did not catch the show but yet feel a need to keep up appearances around the coffee machine. For more background info go here.heroeschat.jpgThe shocker? Nobody is dead (although we have to wait for Micah, DL, Niki and Sylar to actually make an appearance to confirm this). At the start of the 1st episode in this new season we see a collage of scenes that are due to happen and everyone is in one piece.When Matt Parkman makes an appearance, my heart cheered. Taking 4 bullets in the chest certainly did him no harm. In fact he looks fleshier around the face compared to the last season. He is promoted to detective and we find out that he is now divorced. I guess a lot can happen in 4 months. We are not told why especially with a baby on the way but time will tell. He has shacked up with Suresh and Molly, the little girl who can spot ‘heroes’ miles away. 2 men and a baby?Nathan is now a bum and sporting an unruly beard. His mum is still on his case about giving up his presidential aspirations but not for long. She receives a death threat from the company. Hiro is still stuck in ancient Japan where he meets up with his childhood hero who turns out to be a disappointment. Ando and Hiro’s father pines for him in New York. The latter is killed off at the end of the episode. Goodbye Mr. Sulu.Claire, HornRimmedGlasses (HRG) and family have relocated and our indestructible cheer leader is finding it hard adjusting to her new high school environment. She meets up with a potential love interest who underneath the goofy kid facade hides a gravity defying talent. Possible link to Nathan? HRG is not doing any better trying to downplay his shadowy past in a dead-end job at a photo-copying outlet.The most heart-stopping scene has got to be finding Peter trapped in a cargo container in a port in Ireland. He appears deranged and possibly amnesiac. Thankfully someone has lopped off his irritating emo hair fringe. Suresh is gallivanting around the globe trying to rouse interest in his fight to bring down the company via lectures. At least that’s what he lets on. At the end we realize that it is all a ruse by HRG for them to infiltrate the dark ranks of the COMPANY……….

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Owen Wilson in suicide attempt

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Whats wrong with fame and fortune? Most of us who do not have it crave it and yet those who swim in it has a high propensity to want to check out permanently. The latest case of celebrity burnout is none other than funny man Owen Wilson whose star can be seen as on the rise after a few box office hits. The actor was taken to a hospital to have a slit wrist stitched up after a botched attempt. It is so common now to have celebrities falling off the wagon that its almost boring.

i hate music

Two days in a row, now that’s weird. As i was turning a particular corner while driving home from work, the same song came on the radio. This was at the exact spot and almost at the same time. “Who Says You Can’t Go Home” by Bon Jovi. Boy, how i hate Bon Jovi. I swear my brain is turning to goo with the rubbish top 40 hits that they play on the local station. Anything to beat the silence in my car.

damien jurado – sad-sack folk rock

Ang Lee made a mistake with the otherwise flawless ‘Brokeback Mountain’. He neglected to commission Damien Jurado to score the soundtrack. In his latest release ‘And Now That I Am in Your Shadow’ Jurado has created the spiritual equivalent of doomed relationships between individuals born at the wrong time and in the wrong place.

If the breathtaking sceneries in the movie can sing they will sound like this collection of songs, sparse and possessed of a stillness that is overwhelming in its scope.

She has a dad she doesn’t know

Who sends her letters with no return address…
“I don’t know his name…”
“He don’t know my face…”
“I am better off this way…”

You never ever listen to Jurado on speakers. His music is painfully personal and should be listened to only on head phones preferably with the lights turned way down low. Recently Jurado declared himself officially a band by adding 2 permanent members ostensibly to augment his musical vision. Ironically he sounds even more alone than ever.

The melodies are skeletal but speaks of wide open spaces where strangers meet up accidentally and just as suddenly break up and move on. Memories of painful separations permeate the words which say more by saying less. Love goes unrequited giving rise to painful longing which feels so bad that it feels good. Looking for a good hurtin’? Look no further. File under ‘very special indeed‘.


Tarzan Boy

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

Jungle life
I’m far away from nowhere
On my own like Tarzan Boy

Hide and seek
I play along while rushing cross the forest
Monkey business on a sunny afternoon

Tarzan Boy
Baltimora

The above is an excerpt of the song that was playing on the car radio on my way home. I do not know how many of you remember it and even if you do, i do not expect you to own up to it. The cheesiness of the words are only equaled by the cheesy synthesized-music that accompanies it. Despite myself it brought a smile to my lips. I also thank the maker that i was alone in the car.

The stupid meaningless piece of fluff actually dredged up a lot of memories. It is inherently tied up with the adolescent rush of seeing and buying the latest issue of the many teen-pop/fashion magazines at the news stand. The joy of hiding in your own room and scouring the glossy pages for bits of inconsequential facts regarding the latest pop sensation with their bizarre hairdos and clothing sense. The pathetic attempts at imitating said fashion just before the annual school ball and never getting it quite right. The sense of exquisite danger dancing for the first time with members of the opposite sex. Discotheques with deafening music and multi colored strobe lights. The first taste of alcohol.

A fact that might not have appeared in the pop magazines though : the singer and songwriter of this song, Baltimora, died of AIDS soon after the huge success of ‘Tarzan Boy’.

jericho – a new tv series

the past few months i have been following a new tv series amongst others called ‘jericho‘. the premise is that the united states of america has been attacked by unknown military forces. a few mushroom clouds later it focuses on a small town of 5, 000 and how the folks there deal with being cut off from the rest of america and the world. communication lines are down and so is power supply. tempers and egos clash and everybody is looking out for number one. not only do they have to cope with internal strive they also have to deal with roving mercenaries from out of town looking to milk the disaster for all its worth. season one ended 2 days ago and fans have to wait with bated breath for the next episode which will only appear sometime in february 2007.

i was initially hooked but things turned sour for me 2 episodes ago when mysterious boxes of supplies are parachuted down to the town folks from unidentified airplanes. the mayor of the small town decides against distributing the food to the people fearing that they may be poisoned. reason? all the boxes carry a chinese flag. this reaction is typical of the culture of fear which the bush administration has taken to new heights; something that the writers of the show is obviously not immune to. also during this episode, one of the protagonist rattles off a list of potential culprits for the disaster that have reduced their cosy american lives to rubble. no prizes for guessing who was mentioned in this list of shame.

this is symptomatic of the all-pervasive scaremongering that is riding roughshod over common sense. only a few episodes ago, another character comes across an abandoned goods train outside of town packed to the brim with food. the town had no problems digging into those supplies that time. why? no chinese flags.

fitter happier

Fitter, happier, more productive,
comfortable,
not drinking too much,
regular exercise at the gym
(3 days a week),
getting on better with your associate employee contemporaries,
at ease,
eating well
(no more microwave dinners and saturated fats),
a patient better driver,
a safer car
(baby smiling in back seat),
sleeping well
(no bad dreams),
no paranoia,
careful to all animals
(never washing spiders down the plughole),
keep in contact with old friends
(enjoy a drink now and then),
will frequently check credit at (moral) bank (hole in the wall),
favors for favors,
fond but not in love,
charity standing orders,
on Sundays ring road supermarket
(no killing moths or putting boiling water on the ants),
car wash
(also on Sundays),
no longer afraid of the dark or midday shadows
nothing so ridiculously teenage and desperate,
nothing so childish – at a better pace,
slower and more calculated,
no chance of escape,
now self-employed,
concerned (but powerless),
an empowered and informed member of society
(pragmatism not idealism),
will not cry in public,
less chance of illness,
tyres that grip in the wet
(shot of baby strapped in back seat),
a good memory,
still cries at a good film,
still kisses with saliva,
no longer empty and frantic like a cat tied to a stick,
that’s driven into frozen winter shit
(the ability to laugh at weakness),
calm,
fitter,
healthier and more productive
a pig in a cage on antibiotics.

words – thom yorke
music – radiohead
album – ok computer

reading over the words above never fails to creep me out. to actual hear it read by lead singer thom yorke using a voice synthesizer is even more sinister. you would expect sentences like these to crop up in motivational speeches and state-sanctioned campaigns for cleaner and healthier living. below this veneer of normalcy, images of various insects and cats being killed or tortured pop up in unexpected places suggesting that all is not well in utopia.

the one line ‘concerned but powerless‘ sums up the frustration of the modern man; watching helplessly while nature and humanity at large are subjected to all manner of abuse. at the end of the day we are only left with the above litany and the nightmare of repeating them ad nauseum for all eternity.