I am a pair of leather shoes. The type designed for those male humans. After being taken off the back of a cow I was put through the indignity of having various yucky types of chemicals poured all over me, stretched every which way and molded to take my present form. I have to admit that the end result is rather impressive and I quickly forgave my creators. The day that the humans actually put me on display in the shoe store I was so proud that i was sure I would burst.
I was eventually bought by a person and put to work. And did this man put me to work. Day in and day out I pounded the ground protecting his precious stinking feet. I swear these so called humans have the most delicate disposition. Its a real wonder that someone actually made them the masters of the world.
Last night after a particularly grueling day I finally was given the chance to rest on my shoe rack. The night air was a pleasant change from the malodorous feet. I breathed a sigh of relief and settled down for the day.
Imagine my surprise when I was picked up roughly by a pair of unfamiliar hands and spirited away at the ungodly hour. After a while I was put onto another pair of feet and I have to tell you that these were even more smelly than my previous master’s! Is there no end to my long suffering? Please God make my suffering end. Reduce me to useless scraps so that i do not have to endure any more. Incinerate me and make me into ashes. I am at the end of my tether. Do it now!
Epilogue : just my roundabout way of saying that my leather shoes were stolen right off the rack in front of my door.