the day the wagging ended

my dog of 12 years passed on the other day. cancer of the skin. the tumour was operated on and 24 hours day she was found dead in the kennel of the vet hospital. apparently she recovered from general anaesthesia and had taken her first meal and even moved her bowels. i meant to go and see her the next day but before that i received the dreaded phone call from the vet. being a medically trained person i went into the routine of asking about possible blood infection, too much bleeding and wether any pain relief was given after the op. some how it felt empty. i was just going through the motions to prove my worth in the eyes of the vet. a futile exercise now that i think about it.
my dogs are the only sure thing for me besides death. everyday when i open the car door and step out at the end of a working day, they will greet me with shit-eating grins and furiously wagging tails. they will fight for my attention pushing and shoving just for me to touch them and give them a scratch behind the ears. after a full day of intircate human interaction it was always a relief to come back to this. the most simple and basic unconditional love. no need to worry about offending this person or keeping up appearances just so that others will give you a leg up in this game called ‘civilised society’.
my dogs do it day in and day out without fail. without asking for anything in return save for a meal a day and the occasional bath. now i wish i had patted them more, given them the extra few minutes of running my fingers through their furry bodies.
on a brighter note i still have one dog. she seems to be a bit lost at the moment without the other dog. but still without fail she will greet me at the end of the day. less shoving now but seems to me that her tail wags harder than it used to. she knows she is wagging for 2 now.


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